Things I Learned From A Toxic Relationship

We all want to attract the right person into our lives.

Eventually, we meet someone we get along with. It might be love at first sight or another human being with whom we can share our lives. Of course, we wonder if this person is truly “the one.” We look for attributes and traits that align with our so-called values. We observe, and sometimes we even judge.

But are we really that perfect to evaluate others? In reality, we’re simply attracting who we resonate with on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level.

The person in front of us mirrors our inner selves.

Lessons Learned From A Toxic Relationship

Years ago, I prayed to meet someone like me.

I wanted to share my life with a person who had similar interests and passions. I wanted an ally to help me overcome everyday challenges. But I was also interested in creating memorable experiences that can only happen where there are two.

And, believe it or not, I received what I asked for.

This person mirrored both my qualities and flaws.

(She would manifest everything down to the deepest, unhealed parts of my shadow self.)

The passion was out of this world.

We did everything together. We moved to a new city, got jobs, and shared so many beautiful moments together. The appearance was idyllic.

But it all came at a cost.

The toxicity created by our unhealed parts emerged early in the relationship. No matter how much we tried to “fix” it, our dynamics were like two galaxies colliding.

It took some time to realize that I had attracted both my wildest dreams as well as my unhealed parts.

It was anything but balance.

  • “Extreme” was the word of the day.
  • “Nobody is perfect.” – you’d say.

While that’s true, I do not recommend living your life at the emotional edge. It’s exhausting and messes with your mental health. It also affects your relationships, work, and drains your passions.

It’s one thing to be unaware of your situation.

Yet, it’s another to choose not to act upon it.

Relationships are lessons in disguise.

That’s how I eventually perceived this connection.

Separation was the only viable choice after years of struggle.

And, I learned that breakups can mean one of two things:

  1. Mutual Healing: You both healed the emotional side and balanced out the karmic debts. It’s now a matter of choice whether you stay together or not.
  2. Individual Separation: Only one of you managed to heal or at least tackle the emotional trauma. Now, you simply don’t resonate with the other as your vibration has changed. On a tougher note: your partner was “left behind” because they didn’t accept change.

This difference in vibration, combined with a shift in perception and the dissolution of karmic debts between partners, leads to emotional and spiritual breakups.

The paradox…

These are the exact elements that brought you together.

This means you attracted each other through a matching vibration, you stayed together due to a similar world-view and had to dissolve karmic debts to evolve and move on.

The Lesson

It matters less where you are right now.

Regardless of your current position, you’ll still going to attract someone who mirrors your current state. Working toward the optimal partner for your greater good and spiritual evolution is the wisest thing to do. You don’t know who that is.

Do what you love, and he/she will be there.

I followed my own advice and:

  1. I’ve met the optimum person – Someone with whom I had a few things in common but I felt at peace. The harmony was unmatched compared to my previous experience. Our connection felt different despite karmic debts and the need to resolve inner-self issues.
  2. I found balance – Both our light and shadow selves were stimulated just enough to keep our vibrations aligned. We never got bored of each other. This time, it wasn’t toxicity that kept us going but a deep, beneficial connection that manifested through harmony.
  3. I received understanding – Perhaps the most important element is our ability to have patience with each other. This enabled us to interact and deal with our differences more peacefully and comfortably.

Our vibrations naturally aligned.

Eventually, our relationship grew into a rich and fulfilling connection. There are still many things we have to work with. But at least, this time, there’s a smooth path to getting there.

Reiki has helped me surface many meaningful answers.

How I Used Reiki To Find The Optimum Person For My Greater Good

First and foremost, you never know.

It’s never going to be a straight answer. You try, you improve, and you progress. If you have the will, the right things will unfold.

Reiki helped me do just that:

  • The years of practice helped me heal a lot of my mental and emotional issues. At this stage in my life, I was considerably more mature and unattached.
  • I asked my Reiki spirit guides to meet the optimum person for my greater good on all levels. My intention was to live a balanced life filled with harmony and joy.
  • This time, I didn’t use specific Reiki methods. My goal was to become one with Reiki, get closer to the deep wisdom, and gradually heal my inner self.

I was open, flexible, and willing to explore.

That’s how I started to observe.

That’s how I learned to accept.


Relationships go beyond mere interactions.

  • They are mental, emotional, and spiritual connections.
  • The partners always mirror each other.
  • They are not static nor permanent.

Relationships exist to help the individuals evolve.

… whether that’s together or not.